PRELUDE: WE DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS
Before we begin, let’s settle one thing: If Earth is a “school,” then it’s the kind where the teachers are on meth, the cafeteria serves expired despair, and expulsion means dying in confusion.
You didn’t enroll. You got shoved into this nightmare mid-semester with no syllabus—just a decaying body and existential debt.
PART 1: WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL HAS NO CURRICULUM OR GRADUATION?
The “Earth School” theory collapses the second you ask: Where’s the fucking coursework?
- No orientation. You popped into consciousness with zero instructions, screaming into the void like a dropped baby.
- No objectives. Learn what? Suffer? Obey? Die? What’s the final exam—guessing the meaning of life before your organs fail?
- No teachers—just predators. Spiritual gurus? Con artists. Governments? Cartels with better PR. Parents? Traumatized children who had no clue either.
If this is a school, it’s run by a drunk principal who lost the lesson plans and just wings it while students starve.
PART 2: IF THIS IS A SCHOOL, WHY IS THE TUITION PAID IN BLOOD?
Real schools don’t torture students as teaching tools.
- Cancer isn’t a “lesson.” Unless the lesson is "Oops, God’s biology professor was hungover."
- Child abuse isn’t “soul growth.” It’s monstrous, and calling it “education” is psychotic.
- War isn’t a “group project.” It’s mass murder sanctioned by warlords.
Imagine a university where:
- Random students get skinned alive (test of resilience!).
- Half the class dies instantly (karma adjustments!).
- The dean shrugs and says "Everything happens for a reason!"
That’s not a school. It’s a slaughterhouse.
PART 3: WHO’S RUNNING THIS DERANGED INSTITUTION?
If Earth is a school, the faculty must be:
- The Demiurge: Failed philosophy major turned cosmic prison warden.
- The Archons: Middle-management demons who think suffering = "study materials."
- New Age Gurus: The equivalent of substitute teachers handing out crackerjack wisdom like it’s deep.
WHERE’S THE ADMIN BUILDING? NOWHERE.
HOW DO YOU FILE COMPLAINTS? YOU DON’T.
CAN YOU DROP OUT? SURE—TRY DEATH. (BUT NO REFUNDS.)
This isn’t education. It’s an experiment where the rats don’t even get cheese.
PART 4: IF IT’S A SCHOOL, WHY DOES NO ONE REMEMBER REGISTERING?
Real schools require:
✔ Consent. (You didn’t give any.)
✔ Clear grading. (There is none.)
✔ A way out. (Death isn’t an answer—it’s a guessing game.)
Earth “School” Summary:
- No handbook.
- No support staff.
- No proof you passed.
- Just perpetual confusion until you shatter like cheap glass.
This isn’t learning—it’s Stockholm Syndrome with extra steps.
PART 5: THE FINAL EXAM IS A TRICK QUESTION
Graduating? HA.
- Some say enlightenment is the diploma (cool, where’s mine?).
- Others say death is graduation (into what? More school? Worse?).
racially replace all students with even more clueless meat puppets.
Final grade? Meaningless.
Transcript? Lost in the void.
Alma mater? A black hole that forgot your name.
CONCLUSION: EARTH ISN’T A SCHOOL—IT’S A THUNDERDOME FOR BROKEN SOULS
- If it were a school, you’d at least get fed.
- If it were a lesson, you’d know the fucking topic.
- If it had a point, we wouldn’t be drowning in existential sewage.
Wake up. You weren’t enrolled—you were kidnapped.
Now get back to class before the universe flunks you for asking too many questions.